Why do some of us run for the hills when we find out that men have little ones at home? We may have several reasons for being hesitant to get involved with a man who has children. The better men understand these reasons, the easier it’ll be for men to put our fears to rest and to have a chance at a real relationship.
The Mother is always there
If their former partner is a hands-on mom, there’s a good chance that you and her will cross paths every now and again. The mom might drop the kids off for the weekend and come in to say hi. Maybe they’ll both be at a piano recital or a Little League game. When everyone has to be in the same room, you may worry that there will be tension or even resentment.
Scheduled Babysitting: NOT an option
You have your own life and it’s plenty full already. You may barely have room for him in it, let alone his kids. You don’t want to get stuck babysitting his kids instead of going out on dates with him.
The idea that your first kid will not be his first
He has already watched his kids go through many of the milestones of growing up. He has been there for their first steps and their first words. These experiences are no longer new to him. You might avoid having a relationship with a single dad because you want all those firsts to be shared mutually between you and her children’s father.
Being Pre-Judged on Mom Skills before becoming a Mom
In any new relationship, you evaluate each other to determine if you’re a match. You know he’s going to be looking for certain qualities and attributes that make you a great girlfriend. If he have kids, however, you may be concerned that you’re also being unfairly judged on your mothering skills.
The Relationship is Limited
With kids around, you can’t completely let go and do wild, spontaneous things like you might at the beginning of a childless relationship. There will be no crazy, loud sex with the kids sleeping next door and no last-minute decisions to take a romantic weekend getaway.