Masturbating, solo play, lone-fucking whatever you coin this taboo pleasure we all have an idea in relation to quantity. We quantify whether it’s too little, too much, not enough or not at all, when the emphasis should be on quality. Other art forms seek greatness in one good line, the perfect stroke; so, why don’t we see sex as an art form and seek a great orgasm.
Masturbation is great for relieving stress, tension and sexual frustration, but time alone with ones-self can be about more than getting off. Of course if given the option of sexual pleasures alone or with a partner, many would certainly choose intimacies with a sexual partner.
But, how much better could sex be if the owner operator (YOU) could properly guide a willing participant into enhancing your sexual pleasures.
In May we honor of self-pleasure, by bring awareness and a few tips to making ones orgasms more pleasurable. I find four ways I believe may promote better solo- play.
Solo (key word) play, gives you the space and freedom to try things alone. Use this moment of solidarity to replicate times when you’ve played your music loud, singing and dancing in a carefree environment. Relax, get comfortable, wear fabrics you find arousing, listen to music, sip wine, and allow your imagination to wonder all in an effort to seduce your self.
Take your time, as you seek to find what arouses and pleases you. Play with touch as you explore your body. Remember, there is a reason it’s called self- pleasure. You may even find comfort or a desirable change in where you try masturbating, for example in the bath tube, a chair or couch may create a new and pleasurable experience.
Do not limit these moments. Maybe vanilla is no longer your thing, so the idea of, being in your car may intrigue you. Try anything that isn’t harmful or illegal. Incorporate various positions, postures and sensations. Remember, no one will know what you’re doing alone with yourself, but you can always incorporate these concepts later with someone else.
Challenge yourself, maybe during sex you come to quickly or not at all. Maybe certain positions seem less enjoyable because you receive no pleasure from them. Perhaps your partners wants to try various positions, sex acts, which you are uncomfortable with, it’s very simple to try things prior to being with your partner.
Also, women have several orgasmic triggers, from nipple stimulation, to vagina, clitoral, anal, and the biggest stimulant being mental. Challenge yourself to find which way can drive you to an orgasmic release (This is also great foreplay). Play with the idea of how long you can hold out before release, or making yourself come multiple times. Seek a goal to master(bate) as a way to bring variety and pleasure.
Add toys, toys can be a great way to experiment through variation alone or with a partner. For women who have never had an orgasm through penetration, using a dildo will enable you to see if, an orgasm through penetration is possible and hopefully aid you in successfully achieving an orgasm with a partner eventually.
Men don’t have to feel left out, as toys for men pleasure have improved greatly. The availability of sleeves, eggs and suctions toys have changed jerk sessions for men, no longer does a plastic blow up toy need to be your only outlet. These toys mock and feel like the inside of a woman, wrapping the (mans) member in various materials perfect for a happy ending. Ladies you have options galore from the texture to the materials, to the motion and speeds of the toys that are sure to please and excite.
Try phone or Internet sex, the reason I suggest this is it limits the stigma of feeling you’re alone. You have a partner yet it is still a self- stimulated pleasure. You still must be in tune with your body but the addition of a partner ‘so to speak’ may add to the experience. This person may also be someone who enables you to push your sexual desire while exploring you sexuality. This person can be a great guide able to suggest things as you go along. Plus, this experience may open up another aspect of your own sexual wants and desires.
*As a side note, don’t forget, breathing and moaning enhance pleasure, practice slowing your heart rate taking your time, moaning aloud and moving air through your body.
I know I’ve hit you mid- month with this but just because masturbation is only given a month, doesn’t mean you can’t practice all year long. Happy Pleasures!