Men are attracted to the idea of dating intelligent women – but don’t actually like the reality of it. When you finally do stumble across that smart person who knows literally everything about everything, it can prove to be very intimidating at times. Men are accustomed to being the strong one in a relationship, the dominant decision maker who overpowers the timid submissive woman and usually gets his way.

Intelligent women can push a man’s limits, test unknown waters, and explore the mysteries of one’s soul without effort.

Too bad that men aren’t signing up for this, whether in their dream scenario, or in their wildest dreams.

Men are afraid of intelligent women because of societal norms that have been propagated throughout history. Men have been the heads of households in the world for most of recorded history, and societies have been established to benefit men. Women who are intelligent and independent do not need a man to run their lives or even dictate their social lives. Women’s standards have increased so much over the past few years that men have been completely stricken by the intelligent women they meet.

The male archetype of breadwinner and protector is not always accurate, and a woman who has a good life without a man seems impossible to please. Men often give up until they find a woman who is needy.

Here’s 3 things that men love when meeting independent and intelligent women (and why they usually bail out in a hurry):

Confidence: A confident woman is alluring. She stands out in a crowd. Her posture is powerful. Her eyes self-assured. Her walk mesmerizing. She isn’t afraid to be the center of attention or shift into the background. Nor is she afraid to just be herself.

For a man, a confident woman is hard to keep his eyes off of. Confidence is a mix of a healthy self-image, strong body language, the smell of success and a certain swagger. Confidence is addictive to everyone around you.

And that’s the problem: these type of women usually draw away the attention from a man who likes to be the talk of the room and his better half to be looked upon as such, not nothing more than that.

Unpredictability: Men are attracted to women they can’t control or predict. They obsess over the women who flirt, give them attention, and then don’t feel the need to talk the next day. The lack of availability creates mystery and intrigue. They assume she’s seeing other men and will try that much harder to earn more of her time.

Unpredictability takes energy, vitality, fearlessness, ambition and passion. All are emotions men covet in women and want in their own lives.

And that’s the problem: the feelings of diminished masculinity account for a man’s decreased attraction toward women who keeps them guessing by giving different levels of attention.

Honesty: Strong, confident women aren’t afraid to be completely honest. If it isn’t working out, they don’t lie to themselves or their partner. These women don’t try to hide the fact they are bothered by something. They understand that a ‘significant other’ is a part of their lives and not their entire life.

In short, they have a life outside of you.

And that’s the problem:too many men mistake a woman’s firmness for rudeness, and doesn’t understand when just knows when to accept “no” and when to move on.

Are men afraid of independent women? Or are the intelligent women aggressive and/or rude man-eaters? And, can intelligent women be blamed for their behavior, when its society that caused them to fight for what they believe in? Regardless of the answer, people who are secure in themselves accept others as they are. Those who are insecure often try to change others to suit themselves.

Chuck Holliday

Chuck Holliday is a New York City television producer & showrunner, multiple award-winning fashion photographer, and semi-conservative Native New Yorker.

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