First-Date Dealbreakers

Everyone has their own take on their personal turn-ons and turn-offs, but there are a few bumps in the road that shouldn’t be ignored and can even stop a relationship in its tracks. How do you know if those quirks are dealbreakers? Here’s a list of red flags to look for on the first date. Constant and unrelenting talk about exes, particularly a certain one, can mean a few things. Obviously, he’s hasn’t had closure in the previous relationship, or on a heavier note, he may not have a lot of respect for women if he trash-talks his exes. Take a look at his outlook – is he overly negative about seemingly everything? His steak is underdone, he has a terrible job, his dog just died…the entire conversation is a downer. If he’s one of those people who “just can’t seem to catch a break,” then it sounds like he has some work to do learning life skills, and that includes fostering healthy relationships.

On the other hand, a braggart who is always trying to one-up your own achievements isn’t going to be able to carry on a healthy relationship. Perhaps you studied abroad – this guy will crow about the time he spent in Africa on a mission trip. If you recently adopted a dog from the pound, he’ll regale you with exhaustive tales of his volunteerism at the animal shelter. Closely related to this guy is the overachiever – he works 60 hours a week, flips houses and runs marathons in his spare time. Where do you fit in with either of those guys? One will undermine your achievements, and you’ll be lucky to spend a few hours a week with the other one. These are just a few of the red flags you might consider when it’s time to decide whether to take that second date. But if you don’t have a strong feeling either way about the first date, then give a second date another try. It’s possible one of you was off your game that first night and deserves another chance.