Believe it or not, dirty talk isn’t just reserved for phone sex operators and porn stars. Even the average Jane is capable of some serious trash talking if it means turning on her man. Many guys get a cheap thrill over having their girls talk sexy smack. If the notion of talking dirty intimidates you, keep an open mind before you vow to close your mouth.
Dirty talk is becoming more commonly accepted in modern relationships, and some men even request or accept it. Although the mere thought of talking dirty can be embarrassing, there are some ways you master the art of dirty talk and quickly become a pro.
What does your man like?
When it comes to sex, you can’t please your man if you don’t know what he wants or how he likes it. The same holds true for dirty talk, so if you don’t know, it never hurts to ask. You’ll want to get to the bottom of what types of words or phrases turn him on.
Before you embark on this hot new journey, it’s definitely a good idea to have a talk before some “talk.” You want to get a good grasp on his likes and dislikes. Although you may feel stupid for asking, having a frank discussion with him helps you know your man better. It’s no different than how you would address anything else that goes on behind closed doors. Plus, if he really loves you, he will be patient and helpful.
Learn from the Pros
Watch some porn for inspiration. Although many adult films are badly scripted, you may be able to take away some ideas from these flesh flicks. Read an erotic book for tips. A dirty magazine with photos and sexy stories can be helpful. Consider reading them aloud to your man for inspiration. If you have enough courage, call a phone sex operator and ask for advice.
You’re not going to become an expert right away, so ease into the process. If talking dirty in person makes you cringe, start with email or text messaging. Emails and texts allow you to think before you send, so you have a little extra time to come up with something naughty. Plus, you don’t see your partner’s reaction, so it eases some of the pressure.
Once you feel more comfortable, make the seamless transition to phone sex. You’ll actually be talking dirty to your man, but not face-to-face. Of course, you won’t see any of his reactions, which can make it a little easier. Once you have conquered this step, it’s time to move on to the real deal.
Know Your Limits
You don’t have to swear like a sailor to engage in dirty talk. If you don’t feel comfortable using dirty words, then keep it clean — as in profanity free. Your man should understand and want you to feel comfortable. Plus, dirty talk quickly loses its allure when it seems rigid or forced. .
Start with things you are comfortable with saying. For example, if you and your man have special names for your private areas, use them. Feel free to use metaphors for things you want to say, but would otherwise feel uncomfortable saying. For example, instead of using the F-word, you can use verbs like “do me” or “thrust me” without sounding like a hardcore porn star.
You can also use examples of “soft” dirty talk to get you started and hopefully rev your man’s motor. Some simple but effective phrases you can use include “You really turn me on when you do that,” “Want to see what I really want?” or “Punish me, I’ve been naughty today.” The trick is not simply to “copy” phrases that you’ve seen or heard, but to actually say what you want to do and or what you are thinking. In other words, put some feeling behind it.
Once you feel comfortable with these types of phrases, you can move on to dirty talk that’s a little more provocative. You can start by describing what you’re going to do your man before you actually do it. This will get him excited in anticipation of what will happen next. You can says things like “I’m going to take control of you tonight,” “I’m going to strip for you right now” or “I’m going to kiss you all over.”
If you get comfortable with these phrases, you can move on to hardcore dirty talk – the crème de la crème. Without embarrassment, you tell your man how you really feel. Let loose and say whatever is on your mind sexually speaking. Use your imagination and let your inhibitions run wild. Your man will think he’s with a hot porn star.
You’re probably getting stressed out, thinking how you can muster up the courage and ability to talk like this to your man. But the main thing is to relax and just let things happen naturally. You know how when your man stresses out about sex, he doesn’t perform as well? It’s the same with dirty talk. If you stress too much, it sounds unnatural and forced, which is the opposite of what you’re trying to accomplish.
Granted, some people work well under pressure, but when you’re still learning the ropes of successful dirty talk, relaxation is very important. Practice makes perfect. As long as you’re trying your best to not let your shyness overcome you, then your man should be pleased with your progress.
Although talking dirty can make many shy women feel immoral or disgusting, learning the art of dirty talk can make actually bring you closer to your man. Once you get accustomed to the act, it can actually improve your sex life by turning on your significant other.
A little old fashioned dirty talk actually helps women let go of those inhibitions and experiment in the bedroom. If your man enjoys dirty talk, consider cutting loose and cultivating a mouth that’s worthy of some soap.